Loose Ends

Merry Christmas!  This is my last post of 2009.  I am off to celebrate three birthdays and to be with some very special visitors.  I had planned to end my blogging efforts for the year by bestowing one more gift on Frodo Seven but that is still in the works.  Tune in in January to hear more about it.

In the meantime, know that you are in our prayers and that the seven hobbits at Casa Doyle wish you everything wonderful in the New Year!

One last photo before I go.....

(Note: this is not Casa Doyle.  We visited this house because of the very cool outline of the Lone Star State--something our niece and nephews do not see in VA.  And as you can see, we're still "bringing it"!)

The Rest of the Story

So you may be thinking, Birthday?  Dedication? Confessions?  What's the big deal?  It's just a blog.  Of course, as I've said before, there really is no such thing as "just an"....anything for someone who lives with purpose.  Blogging is serious business to me because I invest my time in it regularly, time that I could spend in a million other ways (fitness for instance but we won't talk about that).  Each of my posts is a small work of art and blogging has fulfilled a need in me that I didn't even know I had.  You see, I love to write.  In graduate school, I spent hours working through the problem of how to prove a thesis and then choosing the best words to do it.  Since then though, my writing has been sparse.  The problem is that, although I have ideas for larger writing projects, I don't have the freedom to focus as intently as I need to to tackle them.  I know that some writers discipline themselves to write fifteen minutes to a half hour a day.  That would be difficult for me because I am driven to work toward closure.  In other words, once I get started, I will want to hole up in a cave with no need of food, water or companionship until the work is completed--which is what I did as a grad student only we called the cave "the stacks".  Obviously that doesn't go well with family life.  The blog has offered the perfect happy medium.  It has allowed me to meditate on my life and its meaning but is immediate enough to pull me back to the present moment before I get too carried away.

What you don't get as readers of Frodo Seven is "the rest of the story".  I have read other blogs that, in the interest of honesty in journalism I suppose, show the messy side of life.  I probably have as many bad habits, junk drawers and disastrous closets as the next person but my focus has always been more on inspiration.  The point is not to hold our family up as a model or to make ourselves look better than we are.  My hope is that by sharing the joy we have found in our Catholic faith and our devotion to family, we inspire people--you--to turn your thoughts to your own faith and family.  Frodo Seven is about setting hearts on fire so that they can live...with heart.  And I'll talk more about that mañana.

For now, another gift for Frodo Seven--a patron saint.  It is traditional for Catholics to put endeavors under the protection of a specific saint and for awhile now, I have been leaning toward choosing St. Ignatius of Loyola for Frodo Seven--more on him later.  But something happened this week to change my mind.  I heard a song at Madeleine's Christmas program that I had never heard before.  It is called "Joseph's Lullaby" by Mercy Me.  I won't print the words here because you have to hear it for yourself.  It got to me the first time I heard it and several times after.  I guess I had always thought that, as far as Jesus' mission was concerned, Joseph was just along for the ride.  Mary needed protection, they were already betrothed, problem solved.  Joseph had to have been an amazing man though.  We know that he had enough faith to act on messages from angels twice.  We also know that he was the perfect, chaste husband to Mary.  And what I finally understood after listening to his lullaby is that, as Jesus' daddy, he wanted to protect him and shoulder his sufferings in the same way any father would.  Was it perhaps God's mercy that Joseph died peacefully before Jesus began his public ministry?  Surely if he had been in the Garden of Gethsemane, he would have wanted to do more than cut off the ears of the men who were hurting his son.

So, St. Joseph is a wonderful saint for Frodo Seven.  He was "only" a foster parent--as we all are really--but loved Jesus with all his heart.  And when I talk about living with heart, that is what I mean---living with a heart full of the love of God.  

Tune in tomorrow for "Got Heart?"

Confessions of a Seasoned Blogger

Technically, Frodo Seven was born on a whim.  I don't remember giving serious consideration to starting it or thinking much about what I would blog about.  At the time, I was on facebook and I think I considered it an extension of the connections I was making there.  In fact, I sent people from my facebook page to the blog several times before I left fb behind.  I do remember knowing with certainty what Frodo Seven would not be.  When my SIL Martina showed me around the world of blogging, she took me to some of the blogs she follows.  One of them is Emily's Little World and I still follow that one today.  I knew looking at Emily's blog that I could not follow her model.  Her blog is heavy on art and beauty and her photography is, well, professional.  I knew that my blog would be about the words and as it has turned out, that's exactly what it is.  325 posts later, I am still more focused on the story than the picture though one of the delightful things about the blog has been the photos that I have arranged to accompany particular stories.  My favorite is the one Mia took of me and Chris to go with my post "Lucky".  

In case you were wondering, no--we did not just happen to be sitting like that when one of the girls walked by and snapped a picture.  It was staged.  I do not consider the picture a fake in any way though because, more than any other we've taken over our 17 years together, it portrays exactly how I feel about Chris and our marriage.  There are several photos like that, snapshots of our lives that we owe completely to Frodo Seven.  What a surprising blessing that has been.

Perhaps the question I get most often about the blog is: "How do you find the time?"  It's pretty simple really.  Chris and I only watch one television show a week so other than Monday nights and the night I teach, my evenings are free.  Most posts take fifteen to twenty minutes.  Posts with more photos or intellectual themes take longer but I do most of my composing in my head so by the time I sit down at the computer, the words flow easily.  I have not had time to add fancy gadgets or other bells and whistles and although I have considered using a counter, I have consistently decided not to.  I prefer to remain blissfully ignorant about the number of readers because, many or few, it won't change what I do.  I have left it up to the Lord to invite whoever He wants to visit Frodo Seven.  I truly consider this a work I do unto Him. 

 There have been a couple of times over the year that I have considered closing the blog.  Any time I have felt like I am deriving too much of my personal gratification from other's feedback, I have heard warning bells reminding me that none of that is real.  Fortunately, comments have always been few and far between--a fact that keeps me honest and, hopefully, humble.

And speaking of humble, I'll tell you about one of the birthday gifts I am giving to Frodo Seven.  Ta Da...For the next year or maybe longer, I am officially dedicating it to my dad, Lawrence Paul Kreitzer.  I have never forgotten the day when he told my pre-teen, angst-filled, journaling self that I should write about the happy things in life.  I think I looked at him like he had two heads.  Didn't he know that journals should be filled with the deepest of deep innermost thoughts?  Like many teens, mine were filled with feelings of being misunderstood, mistreated and miserable.  Fortunately, I carried Dad's advice with me over the years like a pair of Ruby Slippers and from the beginning, Frodo Seven has been about joy, gratitude and love.  What I now understand is that my words shape my reality.  Like a magic trick, as I write about how lucky I am, I feel lucky.  As I write about how thankful I am, I feel grateful and as I write about how in love I am with my husband, I am so very in love.  So thank you, Dad for your good advice.  And to you readers out there--one or one hundred--I encourage you to write your story--on a blog, in a notebook or on a napkin.  Whether you consider yourself a writer or not, you are the only one who can record your hopes, joys and philosophy of life.  There is only one you and you are an amazing gift from God.  Share it with those who love you.  

Next up--another gift for FS.

One Year Later

Has it really been a year?  Happy first birthday, Frodo Seven!  Over the next few days, I'll be blogging about..blogging and what Frodo Seven has meant to me and our family this year.  To get you started though, click here to read my very first post and compare the photo to the one below taken today, same place, bigger tree.  We're a little older, not much wiser but we're still the seven happiest hobbits around. 

Sacred Spaces

Holy Trinity Catholic Church*

So, let's get back to the subject of Madeleine's Christmas program for a moment.  It was approximately an hour long and included a performance by each grade, three solos and a few pieces by the school band.  It was held in the church.  While I appreciated the students' talent and especially enjoyed hearing Madeleine, it bothered me to see the kids on the risers set up in front of the altar.  Now, if the church were the only place in which to gather, I might feel differently but this parish has an FLC and several other large rooms that would have held the crowd.  Why not use one of those?

You may well ask, "What's the big deal?  Why not use the church?  It's prettier and there's no need to set up chairs.  It makes sense to meet there."  In my opinion though, our churches should be places set apart.  They should be sacred and inspire reverence.  Kids performing "Jingle Bell Rock" with their backs to the place where Jesus becomes physically present at Mass seems at the very least, inappropriate.

In their book The First 90 Days of Marriage, Eric and Leslie Ludy discuss God's "principle of sanctuary" which is to "protect and preserve that which is most important".  For them, the master bedroom is one of those spaces and they have banned television, video games, computers and work from theirs in order to create a beautiful space for their marriage to flourish.  They advise:

"As a couple, treat your bedroom as sacred space.  Don't decorate it with friends and family in mind.  Decorate your bedroom as if it will never be seen by anyone besides you and your spouse.  Treat it as a private haven, a secret alcove of intimate beauty...
For the area of your bedroom to be a truly cherished, sacred space, three things must be true about it:

*It must be completely private

*It must be clean and fresh smelling

*It must be a desirable place to be"

In terms of our worship space, we can see how Catholic ritual helps with the second two.  We have colors corresponding to the church calendar, candles, beautiful music and sweet smelling incense.  It's the first requirement of exclusivity that seems to be the most difficult.  Clearly, we want our churches to be open and welcoming but they should also be sacred sanctuaries set apart for the worship of God.  Surely if God has blessed us with enough resources to afford church halls and schools with cafeterias, we should show our appreciation by preserving the church itself as sacred space exclusively for worship of Him**.  

I cannot emphasize enough how important the principle of sanctuary is for us today.  We live in a noisy world nearly devoid of sacred space because our computers, cell phones, pagers and blackberries follow us everywhere.  So many people seem to have forgotten how to be truly present to another human being to say nothing of God.  

I encourage you to defend your own sacred time and space*** and, even if others don't appear to, to treat the church as a space set apart--a place for nice clothes, soft voices and slow footsteps.  These things are gifts we give ourselves as our holy spaces help us to become more holy people.

*This is Fr. Peffley's Parish in Bristow, VA.  The church is incredibly beautiful and, from the angels to the symbols of the Holy Trinity repeated throughout, was designed to draw thoughts heavenward.

**Some may point to the adoration chapel as the space set apart for God.  Since it is a space for private prayer rather than most communal celebrations though, it is not enough. 

***I think we can go overboard in the other direction too.  Most time is ordinary and most of the spaces in our lives are more for the joyful than the glorious mysteries.  Sacred time and space should be manageable in terms of our ability to maintain them and still be available to others.

Murphy

As Murphy's Law would have it, after months of planning our visit with my brother David and family, a huge snowfall blanketed the DC area, bringing all things to a halt, including air travel.  Now, instead of arriving this afternoon, they will be here Tuesday. 

Once again, I am reminded that I am not in charge.  I can plan to my heart's content but there is one plan that really matters.  I have a sneaking suspicion that God's ideas for our Kreitzer Christmas celebration are much better than mine were and though we are sorry to lose the days with them, I am excited to see how all of this unfolds.

O Holy Night

Tonight was a big one for the oldest Doyle dame.  Madeleine sang a solo at her school Christmas pageant and pulled it off so well, there were quite a few tears.  She sang "O Holy Night", my very favorite Christmas song and when she hit the highest of high notes, I wanted to yell "you go girl".  I had never heard her do it and was so proud.

On the way home, she wanted to stop by the store to buy a gift for the kids she babysits regularly.  They are leaving for the Christmas holiday tomorrow so we delivered their B & N gift card and some hugs right after dinner.  

When it comes to my oldest daughter, I have so much to brag about but I think the most important thing is her generous heart.  She gives all that she has--not just stuff but kind words and love.  And I'll say it again, I am so proud to be her Mama.

The sitter who gives back

Oh, Tidings of Comfort and Joy

A few more things that make me smile...

#1  Amazing Ella.  She is learning so much so quickly.  She loves the Big Bird Dance DVD that I found at a thrift store and asks for it constantly.  She and Mia do the moves without the DVD now too which is fun to watch.  

Here are her sisters doing "I'm a little airplane"

Ella also sings along with her bedtime songs.  Her favorites?  Baby Mine and Paka's Song (Country Roads--I especially love hearing her belt that one out).  And finally, she knows her prayers.  While saying the rosary the other day, I noticed Ella finishing the lines and saying a resounding "Amen" at the end of each prayer.  That really touched my heart because I consider the faith to be the greatest gift we are giving our kids.

#2  This ring that my friend Hope made.  She let me pick from dozens when we visited the other day.  I chose this one because it reminds me of her sweet daughter Bella (though the child pictured is not Bella) and also because I love games and peek-a-boo  has to be one of the best ever.

#3  The Chik-Fil-A Cow.  I don't know why.  I'm not a cow fan in general it's just that this one keeps showing up in my life.  I especially like her when she's accessorized.  And the girls love her!

#4  The Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Mia will make this sacrament in January and we are working hard to prepare.  Tonight, she, Chris and I attended our parish's reconciliation service.  We were fortunate that Madeleine had the opportunity to go at school so that the other girls could stay home.  I normally do not go to confession face-to-face.  I did in the past but when I was living in Spain, I tried to go face-to-face and the priest moved me around to where I was behind the screen.  It was a show of respect for the modesty of women and I have never forgotten that.  Tonight though, the face-to-face lines were shorter and, in the interest of getting home to the girls, I went to one of those priests.  He was wonderful in his gentleness and reminded me of Jesus and the love with which He welcomes us back to Him.  As I looked around the church tonight at all of the priests at their stations, I noticed them all really taking time to talk to and even counsel the people who came to them.  It reminded me of something my mom told me--that back when people were going to confession regularly, there was very little need of individual counseling.  I believe it.  And I thank God for the gift of this special sacrament.  Please pray for Mia as she prepares to receive it.

#5  I'm loving the live music coming from our living room this year.  Our three piano students are doing very well and are entertaining us with carols daily.  This afternoon, Mia spent half an hour sharing her talent with the customers at a local grocery store through a program sponsored by the music school.  She played beautifully and several people stopped by to express their appreciation.  I think she was proud of herself when it was over which was the best part of all.

small fans supporting their big sis'

BONUS:  I continue to appreciate the fine work of my virtual friend Emily, star photographer and all around artsy person.  I checked in on some of her photos today and loved the session she did for this little family.  One of the things on my bucket list is to play pro photographer at some point.  Emily's blog gives me a lot of ideas and I may break down and buy the equipment I need to get started in 2010.  We'll see.  If not, maybe Chris and I will hire Emily to take some tenth anniversary photos for us.  I told her that's on my bucket list too!

OK, that's it for now.  It truly is the little things that make life so sweet.  At this time of year in particular, I want to say a giant thank you to God for--everything--because if He stopped considering us for even one second, none of this would be possible.

Comfort and Joy

A few things have happened recently that have me smiling:  

#1  The best by far was meeting my friend Robin's new baby, Luke.  We took them a meal last night and Robin was happy to let me and the girls hold her tiny bundle.  Because we have been talking so much about the baby Jesus, this was an extra special treat.  Robin was glowing and seeing her reminded me how amazing it is to have a new baby this time of the year.  Congratulations to mom, dad, big brother Hayden and Luke!

#2  On Sunday, we turned on our outdoor lights in honor of St. Lucia's feast day.

#3  On Sunday, my friend Dolores and I got the kids together to prepare gifts for mutual friends and neighbors.  

  

The kids made cards.  This is Madeleine's creation.

Last night, we went caroling to deliver our packages.  It was a lot of fun though we did get some looks like we were crazy.

#4  We drew an especially fun card from the Advent house last night.  It was for Madeleine who had to dance with her Mama to any song she wished.  I tried hard to keep up with her.  The rest of the girls joined in and we had a good old-fashioned dance party!

This picture is another of the things making me smile!

#5  And last but not least, I checked the blogs I follow the other day and my mom had linked hers to my post about Santa Claus.  We have a bit of a mutual admiration society going when it comes to our writing endeavors and Mom's is the opinion I most value after Chris' (In fact, I should give Chris more credit on here because he is an amazing editor.)  Anyway, it made me smile to have Mom's seal of approval.  Oh--and congratulations to her!  She accepted a "write a novel in a month" challenge and did it!  I can't wait to read it.

The Gold Standard

I'm sure you're familiar with the saying about friends being silver or gold.  We spent time with some people who are on our "gold" plan this weekend.  Saturday, we went to Lumberton and visited with Carl the Christmas chicken and his "peeps"--Hope, Ralph and kids.  Whenever I walk in their house, I feel like I'm getting a preview of what our life will be like in not-so-many years--only without the fun of their lone boy.  It is noisy, chaotic and exactly what a house should be when you have four teens and a preschooler running around.  We loved every minute and look forward to seeing them here for the Houston Marathon in January.

Catching Carl

A bunch of happy chickens

Christian went to a dance.  Here he is, not with his date, 

but all dolled/ Ken-ed? up

Hope's new passion is trains.  The girls were enthralled.

Ralph turned 40+ December 11th.

Chris had Bella rolling

Couple photo take 1

Couple photo take 2

(And check out the girl in the painting on the mantel.  Believe it or not it's a five year old Madeleine!  The painting is called "Sea Urchins")

Hope and Ralph, we love you guys!  Merry Christmas!

In Defense of Santa Claus

NOTE TO READERS:  This post addresses the Christmas Tradition of Santa Claus…caution to “innocent” readers! 

 I have heard more talk than usual this season about what is "right" to teach our children about Santa Claus.  So here’s the good news…as Catholic parents, we don’t have to tiptoe around Santa Claus by de-emphasizing him or getting rid of him altogether.  Instead, we can embrace Santa Claus as a long-standing part of Christmas tradition, using him to remind us of the spirit of giving and the magic of the season.  The real Saint Nicholas no doubt cheers us on as we recreate his acts of generosity and kindness in honor of our Savior’s birth.

 That said, there seem to be three reasons behind the desire to de-Santa our holiday:  1) to avoid "lying" to children, 2) to wipe out the face of commercial Christmas and 3) to avoid stealing Jesus' thunder.  Believe it or not, these objections are not new.  They were voiced as early as the 16th century primarily by Protestant fundamentalists.  And who can forget the troubled question raised by eight-year-old Virginia that led to the most famous defense of Santa ever?  (Take time to read the most reprinted editorial ever to run in any newspaper in the English language.  I think it makes the best case for Santa I've ever read.)

 So, here's my take on the issue:

#1  Are we lying to our children?  Perhaps people who make this argument are taking the whole thing a little too seriously.  Santa is a game.  He's not a lie.  When we talk about Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny with our children, we are playing pretend.  Normal, healthy kids pretend all the time.  Girls pretend with dolls and dishes, boys pretend with guns (or so I've heard).  I don't know of any parents who sit with their children while watching Sesame Street and say, "don't worry honey, you won't find a green monster living in our garbage can and, that's not a real bird you know."  Kids know.  They get it.  

In some ways, I think adults need Santa Claus more than children do.  He gives us an excuse to enter into the magic of Christmas and see it through a child's eyes.  Growing up, I remember hearing bells jingle and deep belly laughs that I just knew were Santa.  Now, I imagine my dad doing that and the joy it must have brought him.  Why would we want to deny ourselves that?

#2  Isn't Santa the embodiment of our commercialized society?  Actually, Santa belongs to Catholic Christians because, as most people know, he is based on 4th century St. Nicholas.  Which means he may be the only part of commercialized Christmas that has real meaning.  Santa’s connection to Christmas is a kind of divine Trojan horse, a door through which we can pull unbelievers to Jesus if we so choose.  And of course that was what the real St. Nick was about. 

Also, for those of you familiar with the work of C.S. Lewis--you may remember that it was not Aslan who banished Father Christmas (England's version of Santa) from Narnia.  Quite the contrary!  Father Christmas was a kind of herald announcing Aslan's return and the ultimate powerlessness of the White Witch.

Someone who I consider very wise once commented that the devil is probably completely lacking in humor.  I agree.  I think he probably rejoices when we wipe out fancy and whimsy and anything fun about the way we celebrate our faith.  Why?  Because if we are serious and gloomy Christians, we will not add to our numbers.  We must remember to be an Easter people.  The purpose of the Savoir was to defeat death and redeem a fallen people, and that is worth celebrating.

#3  It's Jesus' birthday--doesn't Santa steal His thunder?  To answer this one, I'll point to Sunday's gospel about John the Baptist (Luke 3:10-18) .  John's job was to prepare the way for the savior.  Everything he said and did was to bring people to his cousin, Jesus.  When it was time to step aside, he did.  It is the same way with Santa in his purest form.  

My favorite Christmas decoration when I was little was a statue of Santa, hat in hand, kneeling in front of baby Jesus.  I remember spending a lot of time quietly studying it.  What an awesome depiction of what we should all be about!  Santa is our humble servant, but he is God's first.  His whole job is to help us celebrate Jesus and the gift of our salvation. 

 

So, I encourage all Christians and especially Catholics to continue to remind people that Santa Claus belongs to us, not Macy's.  And personally, I think the baby Jesus would have been delighted by a visit from Father Christmas, hat in hand, before he set off on his magical journey to bring gifts and spread the Good News to all. 

Puppet Masters

I thought I'd share what we read in today's gospel because it pertains to yesterday's post.

Jesus said to the crowds:  "To what shall I compare this generation?  It is like children who sit in marketplaces and call to one another, 'We played the flute for you, but you did not dance, we sang a dirge but you did not mourn.'  For John came neither eating nor drinking and they said, 'He is possessed by a demon.'  The Son of Man came eating and drinking and they said, 'Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.'  But wisdom is vindicated by her works."

Matthew 11:16-19

What I hear Jesus saying is that people who want to find fault will.  People who want to nay say and criticize will nay say and criticize.  At some point, most of us will try to play puppet master, playing the flute and pulling on strings to make others dance.  Pride, envy and insecurity guarantee that things will always be this way.  And if Jesus, the Son of God, was misunderstood and called a drunkard and a glutton,  I suppose we will be too.  Of course, true friends will always believe the best of us whether we deserve it or not and it is often their faith that gives us the courage to grow and change.  In the end, our works will speak for us.  Which is more or less what Cervantes was saying with "Cada uno es hijo de sus obras".  I love it when I find the gospel echoed in works of art--literature, theatre, sculpture, music.  It reminds me that the Hound of Heaven is always after us and will track us down any way He can.

More Homeschool Happenings

December is never a good month for The Doyle Homeschool in terms of technical schoolwork but it's a wonderful month for the extras like crafts, baking, letter-writing and just plain fun.  We have one more week before my brother David and crew arrive and we take our official break for the holidays.  We are counting down the days--literally.

Here are some photos of recent activities on the homeschool front.  Enjoy!

Science Projects:

We covered insects last month.  Mia chose butterflies...

Grace, the entomologist, chose bees.  

Among other things, we learned that beekeepers wear nets and 

white clothing because white is soothing to bees.  

I guess it reminds them of bee heaven.

Monday's craft day at Casa Doyle

We made topiaries and cross ornaments.  The crosses were dropped off by our secret Advent Angels the night before and were a bigger hit than the topiaries I had planned.  So thank you to our AAs, whoever you are!

Photos of yesterday's very cold park outing.  

We continue to spend as much time outside as possible.

Sophie has been corresponding with BFF Lauren regularly and received this frame and photo in the mail the other day.  We hung it over her bed.

Today, we worked on these goodie bags for my students who completed their final oral exams this evening.  The quote means: "each man is a son of his works"--in other words, if you don't like who you are, point your finger inward.  The good news?  Change what you do and you'll change who you are.  A good message for the turning of the year.

On Homeschooling

Tonight, I finally finished reading Stuart Little to my small pupils, a book we've been working on for awhile now along with a couple of others.  I am much more familiar with the first and second Stuart Little movies (starring Hugh Laurie) than I am with the book which is quite different.  When I closed the cover tonight, Grace said, "I liked that story, Mommy.  Can we read it again?"  So, we may do that.  I especially appreciated the final lines:

"As he peered ahead into the great land that stretched before him, the way seemed long.  But the sky was bright and he somehow felt he was headed in the right direction."  

What could be better than bright skies and the confidence that we'll find what we're looking for?  Nothing I think.  

Speaking of which--CONGRATULATIONS TO RALPH G. (Sophie's "paran") who completed his journey to qualify for Boston last Saturday!  We are so proud of you and will see you there in 2011!

More Tradition

Candy Cane Cookies--when I was on facebook, I reconnected with a friend from grade school who asked me for this recipe and told me that these cookies were what she remembered about our house at Christmas.  Mom used to wrap them and hang them on the tree.  In fact, our tree always sported a lot of edible ornaments which made taking it down a bit easier.

So, I think it's safe to say that our family has more than the average number of traditions.  The reason for that is simple--I am a "tradition-a-holic" and am always on the lookout for new ideas to make special occasions extra special.  In fact, some of Frodo Seven's best practices are things I either read about in magazines or adopted from friends*.  Of course, we are carrying on some traditions from childhood as well--though I have relaxed a little in the way we do things.  As a child, I insisted that everything be exactly the same from one year to the next.  I think my parents might have liked to put up the tree a little earlier or maybe change its location in the living room but I wouldn't hear of it** (that must have driven them crazy--so sorry).  I'm not quite so inflexible these days but tradition continues to be an essential ingredient in our family life.  It connects us to past generations and, along with our faith, provides the backbone for our identity as a family.  

Just to illustrate how attracted kids in general are to rituals, I'll share an email my sister Tara sent me this morning.  She said that her son Ryan was at the kitchen counter and out of the blue said, "Do you know what the best part of being at Aunt Alice's was?"  Tara said, "No, what" and Ryan replied, "Washing the feet".  Now, Ryan is five and this visit happened way back in April during Holy Week.   Our feet-washing tradition is something we do on Holy Thursday and my favorite photo of last year's ritual is the one of big brother Brendan washing Ryan's feet.  There was something so tender about it.  The Lauderdale's visit was packed full of fun activities so it really made an impact on me that five year old Ryan remembered the quiet foot-washing above all else.

This time of year is full of tradition for the residents of Casa Doyle--some religious, some simply fun.  We do the Advent wreath as a family each night, we put out shoes for St. Nick, we open the Advent house and this year, we did something new on St. Nicholas Day--we drove around in the dark of night leaving packages for a couple of friends, family and the parish priests.  The idea was to get the kids involved in the family gift-giving we do every year.  And it was a lot of fun.  We rang doorbells and ran and sang Christmas carols as we drove the neighborhoods.  A couple of the recipients suspected foul play and one, assuming the "visitors" were teens up to no good, didn't find their package until the next morning (that was my in-laws--next time I think we'll give them a follow-up call!)  The goal wasn't to cover everyone on our list so we still have more playing Santa to look forward to but we did have a great time and it was enough of a success to add it to our list of yearly rituals.

This year as the season was approaching, I talked to Madeleine about ways to simplify what we do and suggested that we move something we usually do Christmas Eve to a bit earlier.  Her response?  A gasp of horror--"but we always do it on Christmas Eve, Mom".  More evidence that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

More Doyle Family Christmas traditions coming up including one my mom initiated this year!

*As a rule, I avoid borrowing ideas from close family and friends because the point of these special practices is that they be unique to our family.  Of course hand-me-down traditions are shared with extended family and that is wonderful too.

**If you've ever read Icon about Steve Jobs, you know that determined insistence on a particular vision is a trait he and I share.  I obviously need to find a way to make it pay off better!

After Advent wreath each night, we open the Advent House where we find a piece of candy and a note with an instruction for one member of the family.  That person gets to eat the candy and then perform the task.  Examples:  "Mia: go outside and climb the tree", "Sophie: do a funky dance", "Madeleine: play your favorite Christmas song on the piano". 

The first one this year was addressed to Chris:  "pick a song and dance with each of your girls".  That was a lot of fun.