Setting Goals Part I

This one's for my mom--love you!  

On New Year's Eve, I posted my 200th post of the year.  2011 was the first year since I started blogging that I tried to wrap up with a particular number and now, I love logging on and seeing those perfect zeros.  Blogger tells me I'm at 842 posts overall but that's counting the ones I never actually posted.  There are about 200 that never went public and I don't count those.  My new goal is to blog until I reach 1000 actually posted posts.  Of course, the way our girls love the books their sweet aunt made of my first year, I'll never stop.  Until they're ready to take over that is.
The topic of 2011's 200th post was New Year's resolution-making.  I made a list of my beliefs about fresh starts that, even I admit, sounded a bit pie in the sky, Dr. Phil meets Pollyanna-ish.  My mom took issue with a couple so today, I'm going to defend what I wrote.  My next post will contain tips on setting and meeting goals.  But, you may ask, what qualifies you to write any of this?  That is a good question and the answer is--nothing if you mean degrees and work experience.  My experience comes more from being a good observer of the people in my life--what works and what doesn't and being an avid reader.  I started trying to figure out the secret of life at the ripe age of maybe nine and haven't quit.  Fortunately, I don't have all of the answers yet because, well, I'm not dead and knowing everything would take the fun out of it.
So, here it is--my list plus "proofs" (I decided to go with scriptural supports for each because--well, who can argue with that?):

You can start over no matter how old you are.


Proof:  Noah.  Abraham.  Joseph.  Mary Magdalene.  Paul.

All of those people received an invitation and accepted.  Every one of them must have been terrified at some point.  Build a huge ark?  Find two of every living creature?  Kill my son?  Lead the people I've been persecuting?  Most of us aren't called in the dramatic way that Abraham or Paul were but transformation is possible for all of us.  It starts with a change of heart and spreads outward.

You can learn or be whoever you choose to be as long as you're willing to work hard.


Proof:  Me & David

First--what I do not mean by this statement.  Obviously, as we live and move through life walking through doors, we are closing others.  My mom gave the example of not being able to be a brain surgeon at this point.  I don't know whether that's true or not.  My mom is a very smart person who, when determined, can do just about anything.  If she decided to devote her time and energy to brain surgery, I think she could do it.  But why would she?  She has grandkids to hang out with and walks to the dam to look forward to.  What I'm talking about is that thing you have been dying to learn or do.  A passion so to speak.  Something that makes sense to you.
I said that I am proof of this statement.  Here's why.  When I started graduate school, one of my colleagues actually complained about my sorry ability to speak Spanish (he was truly a sorry human being but that's another story).  The point is--I was pursuing an MA in Spanish lit and could barely put a grammatically correct sentence together.  Two and a half years later, I passed a three hour written exam and one hour oral exam in front of three of my professors and got a verbal high five afterward.  How?  Much effort.  Many hours in the library.  Chispa.  Plus, I truly love Spanish and reading and writing.  But I told you I'd give an example from scripture.
David.  Before he defeated Goliath, what had David done?  He had to learn to be king and to lead.  And he made a few big mistakes.  He also gave us many of the psalms and set the example of how to lose oneself in God.
Whatever your goal, you can achieve it.

Attitude is everything.  Pretending helps too.


Proof:  Esther

I got a Christmas card from my former boss at Mary Washington Hospice in Fredericksburg.  He has wrestled with quite a few medical issues since our paths last crossed and is now dealing with a medical retirement.  He wrote:  One of the most important lessons that I have learned over the years is that happiness is a decision.  You can be happy today.  You can be joyful today.  You can be grateful today-but you have to choose.  Yes or no.  He went on to talk about how he chooses to spend his time helping his mother, teaching a neighbor kid how to drive and tutoring.
We all choose our attitudes whether consciously or not.  There are absolutely circumstances in life that are hard and make happiness elusive if not impossible for awhile.  For the most part though, happiness is within reach on a daily basis.  Some people describe it as contentment but I think it's more than that.  To me, it's doing what I can to be a super hero in my own life, to make the world a better place.
Which is what Esther did.  She rose to the occasion and,yes, pretended, or played a role to save her people.  I'll talk more about imagination in a minute.  It's powerful.

Even if you'd like to change something about yourself, you are wonderful the way you are right this minute.


Proof:  Repentant thief

We don't know much about the thief on the cross next to Jesus.  What had he done?  The important thing for us to know is that, when confronted with almighty God, he repented, rebuked a sinner and made a statement of faith.  All within a matter of moments.  Oh--and he gained paradise.  No small thing.
I confess I wrote this statement around the issue of weight loss.  I would like to lose a few pounds in 2012 but refuse to waste even one day fretting about how I am right now.  Whether your issue is weight or something like giving up cigarettes, your value as a person, your worth to God or anyone who matters does not hinge on your day-to-day successes or failures.  You are loved today,  Now and forever.  Good motivation that, no?

A good imagination helps in almost any situation--work to protect and develop yours (huge)


Proof:  Peter (also: Sarah Crewe and Anne Shirley)

Imagination is so underrated.  When setting goals, it is extremely important because it can give a preview of what success looks like.  It is the part of us that considers what might be rather than what is.  The possible over the actual or factual.  I confess, I prefer the imaginary to the real at least seven times out of ten, maybe more.
Peter was full of imagination.  When faced with the transfigured Christ, he started imagining tents and a good long pow wow up on the mountain.  He was the only apostle to imagine that he could walk on water.  Perhaps it was Peter's imagination that set him apart and landed him the job of first pope.  What's certain is good leaders have vision or, imagination.
One of my favorite books growing up was A Little Princess*.  If you've never read it, please do.  It is delightful.  It also shows the power of imagination to help us rise above our circumstances.  Trouble is, imagination is like anything else--use it or lose it.  If you want to exercise yours, start by imagining your life as you would like it to be.  Start with a specific area.  The experts say that the more distinctly we imagine an outcome, the more likely it is to happen.  So, imagine yourself more patient or generous or kind.  It's a good start anyway.

*Frances Hodgson Burnett also wrote The Secret Garden.  One of the well-known quotes from that book is, "Where you plant a rose, a thistle cannot grow".  Like A Little Princess, The Secret Garden is full of wisdom and inspiration for kids and adults alike.   Interestingly, while Burnett wrote mostly for adults, she is best known for these two wonderful novels for children.

You choose your response to life so your life is what you have chosen for yourself--own it, change it but don't waste (too much) time complaining about it 


Proof:  Jonah

Poor Jonah.  Asked to do the impossible, swallowed by a whale, spit up (yuck!), and then he doesn't even get to witness a show of utter destruction from yonder hilltop.  Instead, his pet plant dies.  Poor, poor Jonah.  HA!
I think we all know people who complain ceaselessly about the bed they've made for themselves.  I, for one, do not want to be that person.  The woman I am today is the product of many, many choices I've made.  Some of them, choices to respond to yucky stuff life has dealt me but that's part of it for all of us. I am not a victim and neither are you.  The point?  If you're not happy with something in your life, choose to change it--or your attitude about it.  Or complain about it but don't be surprised if people get tired of hearing it.  Really-- would you want to be Jonah's best friend sitting under the wilted dead plant with him?  Personally, I'd rather be celebrating in Ninevah.

Though the people in your life contribute to your happiness, they are not responsible for it.  Know yourself and what you need.  Then, do it.  Be happy.  Today.


Proof:  Mary

We make so many demands on the people we love and who love us.  We want them to prove they love us by doing this or that but really, we just want them to make us happy.  But that's impossible isn't it?  Only God can make us happy and only Mary was sinless enough, receptive enough, to receive all of the graces He had to give her.  And what did she do after not only be called "Full of Grace" but becoming pregnant with God Himself?  She flew to her cousin Elizabeth.  She reached out to share what God had given her.  Sharing.  Huge.  Taking?  May be necessary on a temporary basis but even people in need need to give and share.  It's the way God made us.
If you are unhappy and feeling that life has little meaning, I urge you to think of something you have to offer.  Then, share it.  Sounds simple.  And it is.  But it's not really.  Because God takes our little offerings and sharings and transforms them into something much more beautiful.  So, be happy today.  God made you for that.  Me too.

See you here next time.