Chris tells me that sometime last night, in the wee hours of darkness, a small, girl-shaped shadow crawled in on his side of the bed. She asked if she could stay and, when he said "yes", she cuddled up to him for a moment before asking, "But who will cuddle Mommy?" His response, "Do you want to cuddle Mommy?" "Okay", she replied and she scooted over to my side of the bed to cuddle me. I woke up next to Ella as I do most mornings with no knowledge of her serious nighttime deliberations until Chris told me the story over coffee.
There are many things I love about being a mom, but the best may be the moments like last night when our girls make choices to care for, consider and love others. It's the difference between the "thank-you" said after mom's reminder and one offered from the heart out of true gratitude. The thought of three-year-old Ella worrying about me while I slept touches me more than I can say. I simply don't have the words.
Reflecting on it today though, I think there's something to be learned about God's gift of free will. I wonder if our tiny voluntary offerings of love delight our heavenly Father the way Ella's did me. While free will allowed us to do the unthinkable and reject God, perhaps in the grand scheme of things, our choice of Him, our love and sacrifices for Him despite our fallen natures are so huge that sin is as nothing in comparison. Love is truly so much bigger.
Thank you, Ella. If you're reading this as a young lady, I want you to know about the kind of heart you have and what a gift your life is to us. God has big plans for you girl! (And if we never got you a puppy, talk to your Dad.)
I think prayer can be thought of in the same way. Of course God knows what we need and/or are asking for. However it's much more satisfying for Him when we pause for a moment of personal connection and simply ask. Similarly, if I set a cup of milk in front of Cecilia when I know she needs it, there's really no joy in that for either of us. But if she comes to me and connects with me and asks from her heart, I am so much more pleased when I give her what she needs!
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