Little Birdies

You never know what you'll find down country roads. A few weeks ago, my parents discovered a little family of phoebes nesting near the ceiling in a corner of the pool house. We arrived just in time to see the babies peering cautiously over the top of their nest, then easing slowly up to the edge and finally taking the leap away from safety and into the wild, blue yonder. The thing that interested me about the whole process was the way the babies left. You would think when it was time to go, their instincts would tell them all to go, fly away, together. That's not how it happened though. They went one by one, the last one edging along the board away from the nest for hours before finally leaving. I wonder why and what he was thinking.

The girls loved the whole process. They would stand on tiptoe and peer up at the nest, carefully counting the babies and giving us a daily tally. My little niece Anya set up a chant of, "Fly birdies, fly" that Ella quickly echoed.

For me, it was a perfect opportunity to remind the girls of a favorite line from Little Women, Beth's counsel to her sisters that "little birdies in their nests agree". I showed them how small the nest was and I think they got it. Just in case though, I followed up with my usual question, "and what happens if they don't agree?" "They fall out and get eaten." (Raise eyebrows and stare pointedly) "Exactly".

Family bonding

And then there were three

I'm outta' here

Musings on 40

My youthful self with sweet Brendan

So, I've probably been thinking about turning 40 for a few years now. Not obsessively. It's more like a thought in the back of my mind reminding me every so often, "it's coming". Most of my friends are turning 40 this year as well, a handful of whom I've known since first grade and it's been interesting to hear people talk about it. Not surprisingly, the guys mostly shrug it off with only a couple insisting on re-celebrating their 39th year. In contrast, nearly 100% of the women talk about struggling with turning either 30 or 40 and many laughingly boast of hearing comments that they don't look anywhere near their age. Of course, behind that statement looms a dread of the day when that is no longer true.

For me, 20 was strange, 30 was easy and 40 took a bit of getting used to but now that I'm here, I'm sensing the winds of change bringing some very good things in the next decade. My 30s were actually pretty hard. Chris and I got married three weeks in to them and weathered a lot together over the next ten years. (We celebrate that milestone anniversary in two weeks!) We've been through two miscarriages, two moves far from home, major health issues as well as all of the normal struggles of raising a gaggle of young children. We've done a lot of searching for our identity as a family--our roles, how to run the household, how to educate and discipline the children, how to spend our time and our money. We read a lot of books and had a lot of talks about all of those topics. At the same time, I struggled with the loss of my "career". I had always loved work--the structure, the routine, the tangible results. Staying home was something I did for the good of the children, not for my own fulfillment but I have grown to love it and to see that my choices do not have to be as black and white as I used to think. I have found ways to do the things that matter to me.

In reflecting on turning 40 and moving toward middle age (yikes!), my thoughts keep drifting to the summer I spent at Triple C Camp in Charlottesville as counselor for the 10-12 year old girls. It was a truly magical time. The camp was very laid back and although our group had a schedule of activities every day, I had a lot of time to fill with my own ideas. So, we headed into the woods, swinging on vines, sliding down mud slides and creek walking. I read aloud to the girls as they lounged in the grass beneath the trees and I sang to them. They loved "Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Old Oak Tree" almost as much as my girls do now. My uniform at camp consisted of my camp shirt, old, old shorts and Tevas. I was always dirty. And I was carefree in a way I hadn't been since I was a kid.

I am hoping that getting older will be a little like that. That I will let go of the unimportant things, of vanity, of the illusion of control and lose myself in doing what I can to love the people God puts in my life. I want to serve my family and extended family. I want to be there for my grandkids, in-laws and parents. I want a lifelong, close relationship with my siblings. I want my nieces and nephews to know that they are the best kids on the planet. And I want to keep running forever--or until I find a cool group of old women to laugh with while doing water aerobics! I have a few other goals I'd like to check off my list as well but none as important as these things.

And if I ever do need a little shot of youth, I can always jump out of another plane. That pretty much set me up for the next few years! Thanks again, C! You are número uno and I do want tickets to the show (Tony Hortonism).

OK, take good care and see you here next time! (And if you have any thoughts of your own on turning 40 or aging in general, please leave a comment or shoot me an email.)

More Birthday Fun

So, after our exhilarating jump, I really wanted to go again but by then it was lunch time so we headed over to Rice Village, ate at Le Madeleine and wandered around Half Price Books. The kids were troupers the whole day. I was so proud of them. At about nap time, Jack and Barbara herded the girls into our van, said goodbye and Chris and I had two days to ourselves for more celebration and downtime before going home to prepare for the trip to Virginia.

We did quite a few fun things--we spent some time hanging out talking and drinking very good beer at an Irish pub, we stopped by a Poor Clare monastery where they raise miniature ponies, we played mini golf, saw a movie and, the biggest surprise--Chris suggested we shop! Unbelievable. Not only that but he played personal shopper and found me a very cute t-shirt that says "Girl Mom" which doesn't mean that I'm girly as one person asked but that I am the mom of girls. I have been wearing it proudly. They have a "Boy Mom" version too for all of you boy moms out there!

The best part of our mini vacation was the B & B. It was very pretty, comfortable and we had it all to ourselves, even the private pool out back. The owner came over every morning to make us breakfast but otherwise we were on our own.

We met Jack and the girls at Texas A & M before we went home where we toured the George HW Bush Museum and Library. As it turns out, the library is not for tourists, only serious researchers which I suppose makes sense. Jack has been wanting to make this trip for about a year. I'm glad we finally did it because we learned a lot and had fun too.

Now, just a couple of days later, we're in Woodstock, VA. Life moves fast, no? I've already taken a lot of pictures of our happenings here and since I'm on vacation, I suppose I'll have more time to blog. We'll see. Tata for now.

Madeleine made this shirt in honor of my special day.

The back had a picture of Pac-Man in honor of my Ms. Pac-Man obsession and it said "Feliz cumpleaños" and "go Alice, it's you birthday"

I loved it.

One of the miniature ponies

Looking down the driveway from the front of the B & B

The trees were beautiful

The front of the B & B

The George Bushes

I really liked this quote and I think it applies well to parents. I'm going to put it up in our homeschool room to remind myself that I should be serving my children, not controlling them or making decisions for them that they could be making for themselves

We visited the White House

Ella the rapper--someone had dressed her in Grace's shorts

In this photo, she is standing near George and Barbara's cemetery

The grounds were beautiful

Taking Flight

So tired

Free Falling

Celebrating 40 with my favorite future skydivers

So, I think it was last Christmas when Chris first started asking me how I wanted to celebrate my landmark birthday. After giving it some thought, I decided on something involving running. I was specifically thinking of The Hood to Coast Relay in Portland but when my brother David looked into it, he found it was already full--which was just as well really because it would have been incredibly expensive as well as difficult logistically to get all of us out there. As I thought about a substitute, I came up with what I thought was a brilliant plan. I called David, who happened to be at Neil's, and told them both my idea--a 40+ 1 mile family relay race ending at the Woodstock tower. In true David fashion, he immediately jumped to the planning and problem solving without taking even a minute to consider telling me "Um, no". I needed David's help with the race route and hand-off spots so his "yes" was important. And so, one day in late July, the Kreitzer family, minus Neil's crew--who will be with us in spirit as they await the arrival of Kreitzer cousin number 19--will cover 40+ 1 miles on foot. I've asked all of the kids to pledge as many miles as they think they can run. I'm hoping our total mileage is impressive.

So, satisfied with our plan, I drifted along toward June 27th. As the months and days passed, my thoughts often ran to how many days I had left as a 30-something. I don't know why it mattered. I was completely unfazed when I turned 30--this was different though. I'll save ruminations on the passages of life for another day though. For now, I'll tell you the story of the surprising way my birthday unfolded.

On the morning of June 27th, Chris roused the house at 6:30 AM. Being a former Marine, you might expect him to get in our faces and scream things like, "Let's go, let's go, let's go." He's very gentle about it though--so gentle that an hour later, Grace was still sound asleep on the floor and had to be carried out to the van in her pajamas. Jack and Barbara showed up just before we left and we all climbed into our cars and headed in the direction of downtown Houston. I wasn't thinking much about where we were going. If Chris had asked me to guess, I may have said, "the zoo". The truth is though, the kids were poking each other in the back seat and I was feeling a little grumpy.

About an hour after leaving Kingwood, we pulled up to an airplane hangar out in the middle of nowhere. !I think Chris looked over at me and grinned and I just said, "No. Oh no. I am not doing that." Because you see, I have never, ever wanted to skydive. It has never sounded like fun--more like crazy--and I didn't feel like I needed to prove anything by doing it. I didn't make a scene though. I walked calmly into the hangar with our group, still with no intention of jumping. I thought maybe we could watch Chris jump. As it turned out, he had pre-paid for the two of us and as we sat in the office filling out paperwork all about how if we died or were maimed for life, we could under no circumstances sue the skydiving school, I started getting this annoying thought in the back of my mind that I was going to have to jump. First, there was the fact that Chris had gone to the trouble of surprising me on my birthday. Then, all of my smiling daughters were there expecting me to be brave. But mostly, it was just that I did not want to be the person who would walk away from such an adventure. Growing up, I think I had bigger fears than most kids--possibly the product of an overly vivid imagination. I remember standing at the top of the high dive day after day for weeks before finally jumping. I was the polar opposite of a daredevil. What an amazing thing it is to face fear and move past it though. That's when things get interesting. Sunday was like that. I was afraid but excited too. And more than that--curious. We had a lot of time to observe the happenings in the hangar as we waited to jump and the energy and enthusiasm were contagious. I wanted in.

Poor Grace had a moment of clinging to me sobbing that she didn't want me to jump out of an airplane and some of us watched the instructional video that began with another 5 minutes or more of what could happen--failed equipment, pilot and other employee mistakes all leading to death or serious injury and, by the way, "you or your heirs cannot under any circumstances sue Skydive Spaceland". Watching the scene with the ambulance driving away was encouraging. I looked around the room to see if anyone would leave and saw another woman who was jumping for her birthday turn slightly green.

A little later, I met my instructor, Chris, suited up and waited uncomfortably to board the airplane. The plane was, of course, the smallest I've ever been on. We sat with our backs to the metal sides and it was so narrow, I was touching knees with the person across from me. Waiting for take-off, I looked over at the pilot and saw that he was wearing beach attire, no shoes and was eating a Whattaburger. "Hmmm...this is definitely not a good idea", I thought. But by then I had mentally committed. I had to trust--and try not to think about it.

The biggest misgivings I had the whole day came when we took off and I realized, "I am not coming back down in this plane. I am jumping out. I think I need..a Plan B."

The rest of the story is covered by the video Chris purchased for me. I had a videographer following me through the whole process. She jumped at the same time as we did and got the whole thing on film. I'll post a link to it in a few days--after I watch it with the gang at Camp Kreitzer--I need to see their reactions first hand. My mom might need some smelling salts :)

All-in-all, this was probably the best gift Chris has ever given me. I loved it. The whole experience. I was glad Jack and Barbara and the girls were there. I had a terrific instructor who was so confident and fun that he put me at ease. The weather was picture perfect and the gentle ride through the sky beneath the parachute was incredibly peaceful and awesome--in every sense of the word.

We will be back for more. I want to experience a jump without the distraction of a videographer and Chris may do another tandem jump or two in preparation to jump alone--that may be too great a leap for me but, you never know, I've surprised myself before.

No persons or canines were injured on our way in

A quick family photo before boarding the plane. And to you, I leave...

False bravado

The girl who jumped before me and her videographer.

What a view from 14,000 feet!

Here we go

Thumbs up at 120 miles per hour

Here we come. It's a beautiful day to be 40!

Home For Sale

So, it's been two months of prepping, two months of cleaning, two months of making ourselves scarce at an hour's notice and still no serious buyers for Casa Doyle. I haven't been anxious about any of this or even disappointed as showing after showing goes by without an offer but as we near the 60 day mark, I am starting to wonder where we will lay our heads come the fall.

We have discussed the possibility of renting a house in Woodstock, VA while our home in Texas continues to show. We want to rent for a year regardless and, with a little tightening of the belt, could do it and pay our mortgage as well. Of course, it could take six months, a year, to sell our house and that makes us both a little nervous.

The truth is, I could make either situation work--Woodstock or Kingwood. I'm happy with our current home and with a few changes, could come up with space for a homeschool room--my number one priority for the coming year. Or, I could set up shop in Virginia and get very excited about playing in the snow this winter. Really, it's all about Chris and the girls (and any other little Doyles that we're blessed with--another reason we want to get settled somewhere.) I don't need granite counter tops or a big master bath. Really, I just need my sweet family. And maybe a mantle for hanging our Christmas stockings....

The photos below are from our trip to Chuck E. Cheese yesterday when someone came to see the house. Those of you who know me well may have heard me say that if I were to write a parody of The Divine Comedy, Chuck E. Cheese would be the setting of one of the outer rings of the inferno (Walmart would be another). Yesterday was a lot of fun though. We skipped the food and it wasn't crowded. The only negative was hearing Ella's petrified wails at the sight of Chuck E. Her sisters ran interference for her though and it was all good. Fun all around.

Ella, not sure she likes this place with the big mouse running around

Ella's still looking around for Chuck E.

I like this one

They pooled their tokens and tickets and shared a big bag of cotton candy and a few other goodies. It was one of those times I wished I could be a part of their sister group. Very fun.

Random picture of Grace's new flip flops. A friend handed down three big bags of clothes and things. It was like Christmas for Grace and Sophie.

Tata for now!

Lights, Camera, Video Camera, Go!

So, tonight, the girls did a reprise of their Father's Day performance for the video camera. It was a pantomimed skit to music and was very clever and cute (but I would say that--I'm the proud mama!) They do this kind of role playing together a lot and it reminds me of the March girls and their little acting club. I've decided that wherever we are in the fall, Madeleine and I are going to run a drama class for the Doyle dames and a few friends. I can't wait to see what they'll do with a little instruction.

Below are some photos of the actresses. I'll post the video later if it turned out well enough.

Sophie, Madeleine, Mia and Grace as Belle

Ella didn't make the cast but she did a great job of wandering on and off the set.

Belle visits le bookshop

Gaston and admirers

Madeleine did an amazing job with her movements and facial expressions.

"I want that one."

"Oh, Gaston."

Sophie and Madeleine had a few creative differences but

they worked them out and on went the show!

Till next time...

Trust Me, I'm a Jedi

So, our Father's Day 2010 was both fun and surprising. It started with breakfast by Madeleine and gifts from the girls, the most interesting of which was Sophie's. Not wanting to be without a gift to give her dear Dad, she raced upstairs before breakfast, grabbed Grace's Silvermist fairy toothbrush that she secretly covets, wrapped it in tissue paper and presented it to Chris. Pretty funny.

Later, Chris and I had an hour to work out together--a rare but much-appreciated treat. On the way home, we got a phone call from some friends with Father's Day wishes and we invited them for dinner. We spent a couple of hours at the pool, went to Mass and had a full table and a very fun meal.

My gift to Chris was this:

I thought it was appropriate because we are big Star Wars fans and I think Chris would make an excellent Jedi. He has the discipline and the honor code and I have no doubt that he'd be really good with a light saber. There's also the fact that he never stops fighting for me and the girls--which is part of what makes him a great father. He has been doing some dragon-slaying for me recently and though I consider myself capable of kicking some booty when necessary, I am old-fashioned enough to want my strong, courageous husband to have my back. Which he does. He's also very protective of the girls and had to get tough with a little boy who slapped one of them on the butt recently. Chris let him know immediately that that would not be happening again. It was good for the girls to see their Dad protect them in that way and probably good for the little boy too.

So, the other gift Chris opened last night is this puppet.

When Chris first broke him out, he sounded a lot like the first mate in the pirate's quartet. It wasn't long before he acquired the accent of an Italian chef though. I think his name is Linguini. The girls are very excited to add another entertainer to the dinnertime mix.

Below are a couple of other photos from our night. I hope the three dads in our lives--Jack, Larry and Chris know how much they are loved and how thankful we are for them. And to my brothers and brothers-in-law--a very Happy Father's Day to you too! You are the best!

We had a bit of after dinner entertainment. The girls acted out a song from Beauty and the Beast. They did an excellent job and will be doing it again after we charge the video camera. We also broke out the karaoke microphone. Above, is Ella singing "Country Roads".

Amelia

Grandpa's girls