All By Myself

(post written December 2014)

The girls have been reading the blog books lately.  There are only two and, thick though they are, they only cover about 8 months of the several years I blogged.  Grace in particular has absorbed every word I wrote and will randomly quote my words back to me.  It's humbling really.  When I was writing the blog, I suppose I wasn't thinking ahead very much to the day when the girls would be my most avid readers and fans.  But they are.  They want to know their mother and their own history.
Unfortunately, I have fallen out of the blog habit.  I have tried to kick start it again but so far, no luck.    Tonight though, I have something to say to my babes.
I am in Austin.  Alone.  Tomorrow I will pick David up at the airport and we will surprise Neil in honor of his 40th birthday next week.  I can't imagine not being here to celebrate with Neil.  It will be one of those moments that stays with me.  A moment that puts some of the spice in my life.  Today though, I arrived in Houston alone.  I picked up my rental car and drove, rather sleepily, to my hotel near the Austin airport.  I had a day to spend in my own company.  What luxury.
I happen to love being alone.  Not all of the time but some of my best time.  I have always loved solo adventures.  When I was young, my skate board took me to 7-11 for a slurpee.  When I was a little older, I mounted my ten speed and rode to Mount Vernon.  My mind always raced faster than my legs on these journeys.  I imagined, solved problems and dreamt.  I was not lonely.
These days, I can board a plane and explore a new city or take a road trip.  Much as I love doing those things with other people, some of my best days are still spent alone.  It is when I am alone that I reconnect with myself.  I remember silly things like how much I love sappy country music.  I stop at every single scenic overlook because I am not in a hurry.  I feast my eyes on the sky.  It is so different everywhere I go.
Many people have told me that I must be an extrovert.  I am comfortable talking to pretty much anyone anywhere.  And I love people.  But interactions with other people do not fill me up.  It is the quiet moments, the solitary moments, the moments that remind me that my journey, though laid side by side with those I love, is still mine.