Happy Easter

     Have you ever had one of those days--weeks--that awakens you to your utter need for a savior?  I have had one of those weeks.  I won't go into specifics because the things happening right now will pass and other things will take their place.  The details change but the story is the same.  I think, in the end, the particulars or the "what happened" in my life, will matter much less than the "how"--as in--how did I respond?  That sounds very Stephen Covey doesn't it?  Choose your response!  As if I were standing in front of Sheetz' fast food kiosk confidently choosing precisely what I want screen after screen.  I don't know about you but my life doesn't work quite like that.  Often, in the moment, I see one response.  Often it is not an ideal response.  In fact, it can be downright negative and unproductive.  And you would think that after choosing that kind of response once, twice, a hundred times, I would decide to choose a different one.  You would think.
     When I was younger, I always instinctively prayed to God the Father.  I directed myself toward Him as much as I could.  When I imagined Him, He was vague but BIG.  I probably saw clouds and perhaps a grandfatherly figure but mostly, He was present, all around me.  In the last few years, I have tried to develop more of a relationship with Jesus because, while God is HUGE, Jesus is not.  St Paul tells us He was "a man like us in all things but sin".  I like to imagine myself in Jesus' company and when I do, I am often the Samaritan woman at the well.  I sit there in the heat of the day, bucket in hand and look at Jesus.  I imagine His gaze and His healing presence.  I imagine my life transformed forever.  I sometimes put myself in the place of Mary Magdalene when Jesus stepped in as she was about to be stoned or when she washed Jesus' feet with her tears and dried them with her hair.  I can picture myself sitting at Jesus' feet like Mary but more often, I am Martha, not understanding the importance of the moment.
    I have had a mediocre Lent, not the best and not the worst.  I am ending it appropriately I think--with an understanding that I needed Jesus' sacrifice on Good Friday.  That's tough because I love Him.  But if He had not died in my place, I would never, in a million years, be able to save myself.  I have good intentions but I often cannot deliver.  I have knowledge but I fail to act on it.  I have a desire but don't know the right path and frequently follow the wrong one instead.  The particulars don't matter.  She who is most lost is the one who doesn't know she is lost.   And the simple truth is--I am so in need of a savior that I often can't see how much I need one.  Today though, it is clear.  For that I am grateful and I know it will be a very

HAPPY EASTER.